Holiday Travel Tips from the TSA

Adan Salazar November 19, 2012

The TSA is on high alert for any suspicious turkey complements this Thanksgiving holiday, and in alleged efforts to expedite travelers they’ve released a list of prohibited items and holiday travel tips.

Thinking of taking along that famous home-made chicken giblet broth? Think again terrorist.

“Not sure about what you can and can’t bring through the checkpoint? Here’s a sample list of liquid, aerosol and gel items that you should put in your checked bag, ship ahead, or leave at home if they are above the permitted 3.4 oz.” (emphasis theirs)

Unless you’re transporting a very minute amount of gravy, the TSA says you’re better off leaving it at home, along with the following items: cranberry sauce, dips and spreads (cheeses, peanut butter, etc.),  gift baskets with food4items (salsa, jams and salad dressings), gravy, jams, jellies, lotions, maple syrup, oils and vinegars, salad dressing, salsa, sauces, soups, wine, liquor and beer.

In all fairness, they do permit any of the above so long as it fits in a quart-sized zip top bag (one per passenger), the same bag that is supposed to carry other personal hygiene items like toothpaste, cologne and shampoo.

In addition to indirectly telling passengers to can the cranberry sauce, the TSA has also been gracious enough to allow passengers to board snow globes; however, they need to be “tennis ball size” and must fit in the aforementioned zip bag, along with your toothpaste, shaving cream and maple syrup.

And in case you thought the TSA was being a little too paranoid, they show their rational side by permitting pies and cakes, albeit, with the added stipulation that they are subject to additional screening: “You can bring pies and cakes through the security checkpoint, but please be advised that they are subject to additional screening.” One can only wonder what that means.

And you can just plain forget about surprising relatives at the receiving airport with wrapped gifts, because “if a bag alarms our security officers may have to unwrap a gift to take a closer look inside.”

Open up and say, “AHHH!!”

The extent to which Americans will stand idly by and permit such treatment should not be underestimated.

As a poll commissioned by Infowars and conducted by Harris Interactive last week showed, almost one third of Americans would accept a “TSA body cavity search” prior to boarding an aircraft in the name of safety. The question was posed as follows:

“Given the recent reports concerning the threat posed by terrorists who plan to implant bombs within their own bodies, how willing, if at all, would you be to undergo a TSA body cavity search in order to fly?”

According to the poll results, “A total 30% of American adults said they would be ‘willing’ or ‘somewhat willing’ to accept a body cavity search. 57% would be ‘completely’ or ‘somewhat unwilling’ to submit to it and 13% answered ‘don’t know.’”

The poll also disturbingly found that, in trade for an additional perceived layer of safety, a number of Americans would also be willing to wear electric shock bracelets during their flights.






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